I have a dilemma. The kind that makes your brain feel all mushy and overworked. The kind where your husband has been chatting away to you for the past 20 minutes, with you none the wiser, as you sit staring blankly at a spot of dust on the floor, willing your poor brain to contract. To use its muscles to find the answer. After hours of this, still no decisions have (can) be made.
So I ignore that little voice in my head. The one telling me - you won't wear this if it's too bulky; this doesn't seem to be the right size; knitting this much bulk on these size needles is making your hands and arms ache; and all of this is sucking the fun out of this knit. Worry worry worry. Blah blah blah. I soldier on. I double up the yarn so I can get the correct gauge. I knit knit knit. Worry worry worry. Doubt doubt doubt.
In just 4 days, I powered thru the body of the sweater. More out of worry than excitement. You see, I really love this pattern. And I really really really want it to result in one of those sweaters you could live in during the colder months. I've tried it on a half dozen times trying to decide if it looked okay. Asking the hubs- making him feel the fabric. Is it too thick? Does it feel to heavy? Do I look like I've gained 10 pounds when I try it on? (No dear! You look great! Wow, you've really shed all that baby weight!- oh sweet sweet husband!) ;)
Now, here I sit. Only two little sleeves to go. But I know deep down, I'm not gonna knit those sleeves. I can already tell they will be too big (boy do I loathe a baggy sleeve- why is that??) My hands tense at the thought of having to pick up those thick needles and the too thick yarn.
And really it is my fault. I've know from the start that this just isn't the right yarn for the project as it is written. This project calls for an Aran weight yarn. Yet I am trying to use a very light weight worsted. Why am I doing this? Because the color would be so perfect! And the squishiness! And I can just really picture the finished sweater and the cute leggings I just bought that would go so perfectly. To get anywhere near the correct gauge I would have to use a much larger needle, resulting in a floppy, airy drape to the fabric that just isn't "right" for this sweater. This sweater needs some structure. I've already made the mistake of knitting with this yarn on inappropriate needles.
I've been knitting long enough to know what I like and what I don't. So where does this leave me? Sitting staring at a pattern I love, and yarn I love, and knowing I have three options:
1. Finish the sweater, telling myself I will wear it and love it (but knowing deep down I will end up giving it away to the first person who shows true interest.)
2. Attempt to justify buying different yarn, that is more appropriate for this project, and save my cherished SeaBreeze Shepherd's Wool for a different project.
3. Call on my inner Elizabeth Zimmerman and use the yarn I want to use, with the needles I see fit, to make the sweater I know I want!
The conclusion?!?
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| This picture does not do this giant ball of yarn justice! Imagine 1250 yards of worsted weight in one big ol' ball! |
I start over. Dear Antrorse- you have not seen the last of me. You will be mine. I'm gonna get all Elizabeth Zimmerman on your ... swatch... and I'm gonna knit you good.
To be continued...
